I have been through a number of paradigm shifting experiences this year. I wish I could say I have become inspired to change the world after seeing the face of God in the clouds. Unfortunately, that just isnâ€™t the case.
Over the past few months, I have been forced to examine my the way Iâ€™ve been living. The fact is, that I have devoted far too much time to worrying, stressing and obsessing over so many things. Many of these have been work related, many of them personal.
The one thing they have in common is that they didnâ€™t need to consume me. They just did. It wasnâ€™t a conscious decision, but I put far too much of myself into these things, to the detriment of my own health. I lost a great deal of the creativity that used to be so important to me. I put other peopleâ€™s problems and personal/emotional issues before my own and began to burn out.
For the past few days, Iâ€™ve been re-evaluating. I have been trying to determine the course ofÂ the next few months of my life, and then perhaps the next few years after. This isnâ€™t an easy process. In between catching up on some TV (M*A*S*H, Community and Parks and Rec) Iâ€™ve been doing a bit of readingÂ and thinking.
I love the concept Be Here Now. However, I find myself struggling to be. My identity has often depended on external things; my taste in music, my job, my ability to write, my ability to draw, my love for comic books and so on.
I think that my priority is definitely to learn how to be happy and content exactly where I am. But despite my best intentions, I canâ€™t seem to be happy exactly where I am right now. I wonder if perhaps I need to ask the question: Be Where When?